Monday, May 20, 2013

Tuesday's Tales - He's Itching For Me

Welcome to my latest Tuesday's Tale. This week's word prompt is "bite". Eric and his sweetie are back, visiting a second house to rent. She wants a home near the ocean, and he's bound and determined to find it for her. At the last house, the real estate agent caught him getting it on with his sweetie in a walk-in closet. See what trouble he gets himself into this time!

To read the rest of the stories by some fine authors, go to the Tuesday's Tales Web Site.


He's Itching For Me
By Elizabeth Black

I remembered the trouble we got into in the last house we visited. What kind of trouble would Eric get us into this time? The home sat on a hill overlooking the ocean. Trees surrounded the Georgian on three sides facing away from the road, and a lovely garden filled out the back. My heart raced in anticipation of living in such splendor. This was a rental? How did he find these great places? I didn't want to think about how much rent would cost each month. 

"Oooh, look at those rhododendrons! They must be five feet tall!" I walked across a meandering flagstone path through flowering pear trees. Lilac bushes lined the edges of the property. Tulips and daffodils peeked their heads above the ground, greeting the springtime sun. Finches darted amongst feeders in a copse of dogwood trees. I followed the birdsong to a stone wall. A dirt walkway ran past the wall along the cliffs behind all the homes. Thick bramble grew opposite the walkway.

"That's a public walking path that runs about a half mile up the coast. It drops off at the main road." The real estate agent said. "Isn't the view amazing?"

"I can't complain," Eric said. "We can watch the waves crash from the second floor balcony." He wrapped his arms around me. "What do you think?"

"I'm sold. Let's sign the papers now." I said as I watched the real estate agent grin. She was going to get one hell of a commission out of us.

"Slow down, we have another house to look at," Eric reminded me. "Each one is better than the last, isn't it? Sure beats living in that tiny apartment."

"I want out of there so badly I can't stand it," I said. "I want to trade in cramped space and no back yard for an ocean view and my own garden."

"We will. I'll see to it." He kissed me on the cheek. "I want both of us to be happy, and I know how much you want to live by the water. Just as long as we're far above it, and not right on it. I don't want to wash away in a Nor'easter."

"These homes are very safe. Some of them date back to the mid 1800s, so they've weathered their share of storms," The real estate agent said. "I'll leave you two kids to wander the grounds. When you're ready, just come back inside." She turned and walked back towards the house.

"So tell me what flowers are out here? You're the one with the green thumb." Eric said.

"Oh, I see daffodils, tulips, over here to my right. See those purple flowers by the swing?"


"They're irises." I pointed to a patch of overgrown greenery. "This could use some pruning. I'm not sure, but I think that's meadow sage. The whole garden could use a bit of a trim."

"Well, if we choose this place, you'll have your chance to do that. Want to take a walk down the path and see where it goes?" Eric asked, curious as he always was to see something new.

"Sure!" I followed him to a gate at the stone fence. We walked through and wandered down the path towards the right.

"It's wide enough for us to walk side-by-side." He drew back in tandem with me and took me by the hand. "I love the privacy." He pointed to a field to the right. "Look at all that brush. We can have a little fun, and no one will be the wiser."

I knew exactly what he had in mind, but I wasn't sure I wanted leaves stuck in my hair, and sand in my panties from rolling around in the dirt. "This is a public walking path. It can't be that private. Besides, I bet people in the houses can see us."

"Not from here," He took me by the hand and guided me into the field, which was to one side of the house we visited. The land had not yet been sold, so the area was overgrown with bushes and sea grass. "If we're going to live in that house, we need to christen it. It's not too cold out, either." He swept me up in his arms and kissed my throat. His tongue ran along my earlobe, begging for a little excitement in this deserted plot. "C'mon. Take a walk on the wild side. Let's be adventurous."

I hesitated. Eric had always been much more daring than me.

"There's no telling what's in all that brush. Snakes. Rabid raccoons. Bunnies with sharp, pointy teeth. You want to be eaten alive by bugs?" I asked.

"It's too cold for bugs." He grabbed my hand, and pulled me further into the brush. We were well hidden by thick red maples. Shadows danced around us. Yes, we could easily get away with the tryst he was so eager to have.

"C'mon. We had fun in the closet in the last house. What harm could we come to out here?" He pulled me down to the ground. Thorn bushes grew amid the tree trunks. I took a closer look and squealed with glee at what I saw.

"Those are wild blackberry bushes! If we live here we can have free fresh berries during the summer." I hugged him. "You know where all the good things are, even if you aren't completely aware of them."

He pulled his t-shirt over his head, and lay back in the green groundcover. "Let's take advantage. We have a little time."

"If you insist," I giggled. I couldn't help it. Here we were again, being very naughty with a very good chance of getting caught. I helped him unzip his jeans, and slid them down to his knees. He bobbed before me, poking through his boxers, eagerly awaiting my attention. Without being asked, I went down on him. He groaned with delight, since he got what he wanted again. Knowing Eric, he hoped someone in one of the neighboring houses watched us through a telescope. That notion probably made our tryst even more exciting for him.

I tended to his needs with my eyes closed, taking in the sound of the waves crashing beyond the cliffs. A breeze blew through the brush, tossing my hair. I opened my eyes and lifted my head to watch the ecstatic expression on his face.

Eric was having the time of his life.

I looked back down to start where I left off when I noticed the shiny leaves on vines he lay on. I took a closer look, and with a cry backed off. I grabbed him by the hand and tried to yank him to his feet but he was too heavy for me.

"Oh, darlin', don't stop. I was just getting into it." He whimpered.

"You're getting more than you bargained for." I cried. "Get up! You're lying in poison ivy!"

He shrieked like a little girl, and rolled onto his feet so fast he lost his balance. He pulled up his jeans and zipped them. He pushed his arms through the t-shirt's sleeves when I stopped him.

"You can't put that back on. It has poison ivy oil all over it." I couldn't help it. I giggled. Once again, Eric was in over his head.

"Shit! I'm allergic to that stuff." He held the t-shirt between his fingertips so he wouldn't touch too much of it. "It's not funny! This bites! I'm going to be a walking pustule for the rest of the month!"

"Bite the bullet. It's the price you pay for wanting to get it on in the middle of the woods." I continued to giggle, unable to control myself.

'Stop laughing. It's not funny," He whined. "I hope we have Aveeno at home."

"We do. Let's get you inside and scrub you down so the poison ivy isn't as bad as it could be." I said. "The real estate agent is going to get a major kick out of this."

Eric grunted, finished with his end of the conversation. He absent-mindedly scratched his left arm.

"Don't do that," I said. "You'll only spread the oil. You need soap and water, pronto."

"Just don't tell everyone about it."

"If you get as bad of a rash as I think you're going to get, there's gonna be no avoiding it. Just think. It'll be everywhere. You're arms. Your legs. Your face. And I mean everywhere. Use our imagination," I said with one last snicker. "Good thing I'm not allergic to it."

"Bite me."

We walked into the beautiful house overlooking a poison ivy grove, and Eric scrubbed up in the kitchen sink, with the real estate agent shaking her head in amusement. We sure gave her one hell of a ride at both houses so far.

As I wondered what kind of mischief we would get us into at the next house, I realized we never did see what lay at the end of that path. Maybe we'll never know.


  1. Bwahahahah ... love it! Can't wait for house #3 !!!! The Real Estate Agent is probably having a ball.

  2. LOL!! What a load of trouble Eric is getting them into!! Hilarious!!

  3. Who knew house hunting could be so much fun?!

  4. This brings a whole new meaning to house-hunting! rofl.

  5. Certainly take the stress out of it..xx

  6. LOL! That is awesome!! Poor Eric...

  7. Thank you all for enjoying my heroine's and Eric's shenanigans. Their exploits will continue in the next Tuesday's Tale. Eric is a born troublemaker!

  8. lol, love the poison ivy.