Tuesday, February 2, 2016

The Sheik of Scrubby Creek - Chad Morgan

I heard this nutty song on "100 Bloody Acres", a horror comedy from Australia. It's bent.


Monday, February 1, 2016

The Luv Box: Adam and Eve's Triple Pleasure Rabbit Review

Adam and Eve's Triple Pleasure Rabbit

I have always loved getting triple play action when it comes to sex play. My husband knows this and pleasures me accordingly. He sticks his index and middle fingers in my vagina, his pinky in my anus, and he toys with my clit with his thumb. I squirm and squeal and make little kitten noises. When he does this he kinda looks like a redneck holding a bowling ball. So I call it the Bowling Ball Maneuver.


Imagine my sheer joy when I discovered that there are sex toys that do the same thing. I was delighted! So was my husband since maneuvering your hand like that makes it cramp easily. He has arthritis and even though he enjoys giving me pleasure it comes at a price. So now he can be like those therapists in the late 1890s and early 1900s who treated Victorian women for hysteria. Instead of working your arm and hand until you needed to dose them in an ice bath to ease the pain, you use a vibrator to do the work for you. That was the first use of vibrators. It's why they were invented. They were medical aids used by doctors to treat women with an ailment that didn't actually exist, but I figure the women enjoyed the "treatment" so much they came back for more. If only the doctors taught their husbands the techniques. They would never have had to return to the doc. But that is money out of doc's pocket, so he wouldn't want to give up his trade secrets.



Adam and Eve makes such a sex toy, which pleases me since Adam and Eve is a fine sex toy company. It's one of my favorites. You can rely on an Adam and Eve toy to be well-made and long-lasting. The Adam and Eve Triple Pleasure Rabbit gives the Bowling Ball Maneuver a run for its money. At only $60.99, you get lots of knee-knocking bang for your buck. The toy is phthalate-free and made of high-quality silicone – one of the best materials for sex toys – and it is 10 inches long. Longer than nature intended, with all the fun packed in. It's also 1 inch wide so you won't feel like an oak tree being cleaved in two. It takes 3 AA batteries. This toy is waterproof so take it in the bath with you. I didn't use it in the bath – I used it in bed – but I could easily bathe with it.

It's not overly heavy, which is a nice switch since these types of rabbits tend to weigh a ton. My wrist didn't give out for a change. The controls are also easy to use. When you hold the rabbit while using it, your thumb naturally falls right in place over the right buttons. It's just a matter of memorizing which ones do what and that's easy enough. This toy does it all – vibrates, pulsates, escalates, rotates. There are so many variations of all that movement that you'll likely never use all of them. I tried various speeds, pulsations, and escalations. All of them were good. I controlled the power and intensity, which was easy and exactly what I wanted.

Insertion was easy. I used a water-based lube and inserted the main body of the rabbit. The anal stimulator fell right in place and I gently guided it in with no problem. The clit bumper was positioned properly. Everything was in place and ready to go. While I enjoy vaginal and clit action at once, when you combine them with anal stimulation you get OMG EXPLOSIONS! It's as if Michael Bay directed my sex play.


This sex toy did its job quickly without being too fast because I controlled the stimulations. I like that. Coming too quickly is no problem because you'll have multiple orgasms with this rabbit. So hop to it and head to My Luv Box and pick up the Adam and Eve Triple Pleasure Rabbit for yourself. Does the woman you love have a birthday coming up? Is it your anniversary? This rabbit would make a sensational gift you both may enjoy. Get it, use it, and invent your own variation of the Bowling Ball Maneuver. You will have a blast. Michael Bay directed or otherwise.

Monday, January 25, 2016

Rachel Platten - Fight Song

Coming Soon On The Women Show - Internet Crazies

Elizabeth Black writes in a wide variety of genres including erotica, erotic romance, horror, and dark fiction. She lives on the Massachusetts coast with her husband, son, and three cats. Visit her Facebook page and her Amazon Author Page.


They are coming out of the woodwork. Plenty of people, especially women, have had to deal with Internet crazies. These crazies often show up in your Facebook private messages. Sometimes they aren't even your friends. I've had a slew of them recently, mostly men. Why do so many of these guys think that making a fake military listing will attract women? I've heard from numerous high-ranking military personnel, especially doctors, who say they are stationed in the Middle East. They're rank, all right. Unfriend. Block. Then there are the non-American men who immediately ask me if I'm married with children. Unfriend. Block. Or the men who tell me my profile picture is beautiful and they want to be my friend. When I told one I was married and not interested in hooking up with anyone, he said he'd love to pretend I was his sister. Yeah, sure. Unfriend. Block. Or the men who claim to have incurable illnesses (brain cancer is popular) and want to leave their money to me if only I leave them my bank information. Unfriend. Block. Women pull these stunts, too. I heard from one from Japan whom I friended, and I should have known better. She immediately signed me up for two groups on Facebook with explicit porn. This pisses me off because Facebook won't remove that kind of crap yet erotic romance book covers with a hint of nipple are nuked. Unfriend. Block. Or the other woman on Facebook who talked to me for a few days before sending me a private message to say she was in dire need of several thousand dollars and could I lend it to her? Nope. Those "I'm stranded in Europe and I need money" scams from people faking your friend's accounts are common. So are money scams on the web. Unfriend. Block.


Before I was a fiction writer and sex/relationships writer, I wrote political and feminist articles for several magazines and web sites. I was quite well known, and with the fame came the misogynistic baggage all feminists have to deal with. These were my first internet crazies. I regularly heard from men's rights activists who liked to tell me I was wrong about everything while calling me a cunt and worse. In case you don't know what they are, men's rights activists are men – mostly middle aged white men but some are younger and of color – who feel that their sense of entitlement is being threatened by gains made by women, people of color, and GLBT folk. There are also women in the men's rights movement. They are the men's auxiliary, and they support the guys in every way, even down to doing their grunt work for them. These women were most often wives, girlfriends, sisters, and mothers of the men in the movement, and they had a vested interest in seeing the status quo maintained. I estimated that women comprised about 40% of the movement. Some of these guys want to repeal women's right to vote. They claim the vast majority of rape allegations are false. These guys will whine to anyone who will listen to them, and that often consists of an echo chamber of their own kind. Now, they meet on the Internet. Before the Internet, they met in member's homes, church halls, or other public places. They're very politically active and they try to roll back gains made by women, people of color, and GLBT folk over the past 30 odd years. 

Due to the influx of nutcases harassing me on Facebook over the past week, I've decided to host a radio show on The Women Show about internet crazies. Do you have your own tales of strange men harassing you on Facebook? Do you get email from Nigerian princes who want to send you millions of dollars (people still fall for that one?)? Do writers friend you only to immediately spam your timeline and private messages with junk about their books without so much as saying hello? If you've experienced any of this or know someone who has, this is the show for you. Here are details:

The Women Show – Internet Crazies
Host – Elizabeth Black
Date - Thursday, February 18, 2016. 6:30 - 7 PM EST.

Guests – Phoenix Johnson, Christine Morgan, and Jen Winters.

Link to more information about the show, including where to listen in and a brief blurb will come in early February. Keep an eye on my Facebook page for more details.

Elizabeth Black - Facebook






Wednesday, December 2, 2015

New Holiday Story - In The Doghouse




Here's a new seasonal book released just in time for the holidays! Make sure you pick up "The Naughty List". My story "In The Doghouse" appears in this fun and festive anthology.

Blurb:

Nicky and Angela had just begun to add a little kink to their lives when, caught up in the influence of his dudebros, he forgot their anniversary and broke Angela's heart. Angela wants Nicky's strong arms around her again, but first she wants him to fight for her. Can one night, a paddle, and some restraints bridge the gap between them?

Excerpt:

We had gone to a very risqué party she had discovered from the kink web site Fetlife. A dom named Lady Tyrana took a liking to us, and she gave us an intense Beginner's Lesson in the proper use of a feather and paddle. She told me I was a natural sub and Angela was a switch. We chose the safe word "chocolate". I doubted I would need to use it. The experience was shiny and new to me, and I was hooked from the onset. Angela tied me face-down to a four-poster bed, and then with Lady Tyrana's guidance she tickled my arms with a feather. My skin jumped at her touch. Being restrained made the experience all the more excruciating. As I struggled against my restraints, she ran that feather over my inner thighs. I hovered between the abyss of sheer agony and the heaven of unlimited bliss. My heart beat so hard I could feel my pulse in my temples. I was beside myself with pleasure the likes of which I had never before experienced. When she took away the feather I groaned with disappointment.

Then Lady Tyrana put a paddle in her hand. The paddle had a hole in it and the word "BRAT" written on it in big, bold red letters.

"Tell him what you told me," Lady Tyrana said.

"I'm mad at you because you spend more time with your friends than you do with me." Angela said.
"I –" I said.

"Silence, slave!" Lady Tyrana said in an authoritative voice. "You are not to speak unless your Mistress says you may."

I nodded. Angela's plan was very clear.

I was a naughty boy, and I needed to be punished.

The moment that paddle struck my right butt cheek for the first time, I writhed in ecstasy. Pain and pleasure were inexorably intertwined. I craved more torture with an intensity I had not known I possessed. Angela delivered it with Lady Tyrana's help.

My orgasm in the party's dungeon was the most intense I had ever had.

I bought a paddle, plush cuffs, and a bottle of massage oil at the party fully intending to use them, but life got in the way. I worked overtime for the next week, and Angela was called in to work over a weekend. I fell back into my routine of hanging out with my buds playing "League Of Legends" for hours on end. Then I forgot our anniversary and her birthday. The delight of a stinging swat on the behind became a figment of my past.

For buy links, go to World Weaver Press.

Happy holidays, everyone! Enjoy.