Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Sex Toy Review: Dr. Philgood's Non-Vibrating Dildo

When Dr. Philgood's Non-Vibrating Dildo arrived in the mail, I had to make sure I wasn't imagining what I looked at. This thing is huge! I'm talking the Mecca-Dongzilla Of Dildos. It can level Japan with one orgasm. So I knew I wanted it inside me but pronto.

Now for a little background. This dildo is modeled after Phil Varone's cock. Varone is the former drummer for Skid Row and Saigon Kick. He also toured with Vince Neil of Motley Crue. The guy is a legend. He's also a player with a special love for his female groupies - by the thousands. According to the Urban Dictionary, back in the day these kinds of men were called rakes, and they go well with hoes. You'll find both rakes and hoes commingling together in garden tool sheds today. So it's only fitting that a sex toys company would mould a dildo based on Phil's quite impressive attributes. It even includes his Prince Albert piercing. Gotta keep things as realistic as possible, since plenty of women have enjoyed Phil's deliciousness.

I'm not one of them so this dildo will have to do. And does it ever do it!

It's quite an intimidating sex toy. A real man has this attached to him? How does he walk? I played with it in my hands first. Since there is so much of it, it's easy to grab. If I don't want to grab it with my hands I can stick it to any flat and smooth surface thanks to the suction cup at the base. If only I had a cardboard cut-out of Phil Varone! I know exactly where I'd stick the dildo. :)

The Better-Than-Real® Plus material is very soft and very realistic. It feels like real human flesh. The dildo is also quite solid but it has lots of give. It's like handling a real penis, even one the size of an Angus bull's cock. It's a light color with just enough pink to make it look realistic. There are plenty of veins and texture. Plus there's that piercing. It's like icing on the cake.

I used some lube to make entrance easier, and it didn't disappoint. It split me like an oak tree. There's nothing quite as wonderful as having Horse Cock inside you. I felt very filled up and not the least bit uncomfortable. I've had real cocks this size inside me and some of them don't completely inflate. This one is rock solid hard and stays that way for as long as I want to fuck with it. The piercing was a new experience for me. I've never been with a pierced man. The piercing managed to home in on my G-spot in just the right way.

Suffice to say I had some powerful, knee-knocking, writhe-on-your-side-and-scream-for-Jesus orgasms. The dildo wanted to go longer but I just couldn't anymore. I wonder if the real Phil lasts as long as his dildo does?

So there you have it. I own a Rock Star Dildo. All the rumors about Phil Varone's cock are true. He is really built like a telephone pole, and he has the sex toy to prove it. If you are in the mood to be pinned to your bed by a heavy duty dong this is the sex toy for you. Ladies, it's huge, it never goes limp, and it leaves the toilet seat down. Guys, it's just unbelievable. You won't sit down for days and that's a good thing. This is a dildo wet dreams are made of.

Buy sex toys like this one and many more from California Exotics.


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